TEST DRIVE ; no. 2

[powergamer]

TEST DRIVE MEME

Welcome to Dyspros' second test drive meme! We're happy that you're interested in the game, and we hope that you have some fun playing with the setting, regardless of whether you decide to join or not.

As a general reminder, we recommend that you look over the game information before jumping in. In addition, if you decide you're ready to join, you're welcome to put in a reserve, and applications will open on June 8th at 12:01 AM (EST). Finally, if you have any questions or concerns, please send us a message!

So now, without further ado, let's get to playing:

A ; NEW RECRUIT

Well then, welcome to the guild, Initiate! After some thought (or maybe the choice was obvious), you've finally settled on a guild, and you're ready to get started. You're welcome to check out your accommodations and see what kind of people you'll be living with for the foreseeable future. This is your home now, so hopefully you get alone with them. If not, then you can just spend all of your time sharpening your skills!

Whether you're just claiming your bed or you're jumping right into the thick of things to practice or sign up for a mission, a new recruit is unlikely to go unnoticed.

B ; MISSION TIME

It's your first mission, which is pretty exciting, right? You have all these pictures in your head of going off to fight a dragon, to come home with great riches and valor...

Haha, fat chance.

No, you're stuck with your partner checking things off Mage Guildmaster Ossidia's shopping list. Lizard tails, pig hearts, bird feathers—seriously, can't she get these things herself? But then you get to the stranger items on the list: a lock of natural pink hair, the saliva of a glutton, the tears of a male virgin... Don't ask. Get to work!

C ; STORM THE CASTLE

Okay, the missions for initiates are pretty lame, and you're ready for some real fighting. You can go alone, or you can go with some other people, but it's off to Castle Dyspros! You'll find a variety of creatures to fight, and the power of teamwork will help you make progress through the castle!

Or you'll die. There's that too. Good thing it's fairly inconsequential, if weird!

Either way, have fun fighting to your heart's content!

D ; PICK YOUR OWN

Just like it says, if none of the others appeal to you, feel free to make up your own prompt!

Comments

[vytis]

I should at least be able to keep the horse if-- [Wait. Wait. Not 1313, 2013.] W-we'll have to give it back.

[And then he'll just shout back at Poland who is really getting way too close for comfort.] You wouldn't want it back now anyway!

[mostlymarried]

Pol'shcha will be easier to lose in there as well. Narrower the streets, the better to force him on foot. [trust her she's like the expert in this]

[notyetlost]

I don't care! [If he won't give it up then Poland will just have to take it. Balancing himself on the horse, he readies his lance again aiming it for Belarus' satchel. Although to be honest, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't tempted to poke her a bit with it too.

He'll pull up next to their horse, trying to catch his lance on the bag.]

[vytis]

[Lithuania pulls away sharply--as sharply as he can turn a horse, anyway--and ducks into one of the alleyways, leaping an overturned bin.]

If we can get him on foot we're home free.

[mostlymarried]

[oof well - Belarus had been planning to just grab the lance - but that works too.]

It'll be easier if we can get into a building. Houses preferably; lots of small rooms. Do you have anything that can blow out a door or wall?

[notyetlost]

[Poland adjusts for the sharp turn while keeping the lance and himself perfectly steady on the horse. The alleyway is too narrow for both to ride side by side, but he can still chase after him.

Lithuania will mess up eventually.]

[vytis]

N-no, not really! [This is far too narrow for his liking, especially bare back. And he can't really turn any corners here, either, though he suspects Poland could and this was probably a terrible idea.

Instead, he brings the horse to almost a stop and jumps off, tugging Belarus down with him. It's not going to be the most graceful landing for him, though, since he's mostly trying to keep Belarus from getting injured.

In fact, the snapping sound as he lands altogether wrong on the ground make the hideousness of that landing pretty obvious.]

[mostlymarried]

[well at least it wasn't her for once. Belarus lands gracefully as the horse keeps on running, dragging Lithuania upright with an arm over her shoulder.

As Poland approaches.]

1/2

[notyetlost]

[And he does.] You seriously thought you could get away? Ha ha ha!

Surrender the apple--

2/2

[notyetlost]

Oh my god ew!

Liet what the hell did you do?!

[vytis]

What did I-- [Lithuania attempts to put weight onto his foot, then, though, and anything he might have been saying is forgotten by the sharp pain. He yelps, too, which seems to surprise him just as much.]

Human bodies are so fragile! [And also he doesn't have his normal level of pain tolerance, not that he realizes.

But hey, maybe Poland will forget the apple.]

[mostlymarried]

[sadly, Belarus hasn't. And there's a door close by. And come on you guys you've had worse.]

Ascjarozhna!

[Thus, with no warning whatsoever, Litva will find himself thrown in Poland's vague direction whilst Belarus rams shoulder-first through the door into the back end of a bar kitchen. To considerable alarm.]

1/3

[notyetlost]

Are you serious right now? The bones are sticking out, I'm totally going to vomit--

[And there goes Belarus. With his apple.] HEY!

2/3

[notyetlost]

[He has to get the apple! But Liet's all broken.

BUT THE APPLE! ...Liet's his best friend though.

The apple... Liet...]

3/3

[notyetlost]

Liet! [Poland hops off the horse and rushes over to Lithuania.]






... I'll be right back!

[And Poland takes off after Belarus! He's getting that apple back, no one calls him a glutton!]

[vytis]

[WOW.] Poland, you bastard!








[A few moments later, Lithuania remembers he has that first aid spell, though. He casts it and watches his bones knit themselves back together.]

[mostlymarried]

[You know what the good thing about bar kitchens is?

Knives.

You know what the bad thing about bar kitchens is?

Fucking cooks.

Belarus can be found inside duelling a chef; her with a kitchen knife, him with a frying pan. Poland is the perfect distraction. Punt.

NOW TO FLEE OUT INTO THE PUBLIC AREA there is no way this can go wrong and / or result in bar fights]

[notyetlost]

[Wah! Belarus what the hell is the matter with you?! Poland avoids the chef being punted at him and continues to chase after her.]

Get back here, you psycho!

[He's not really sure where they ended up at this point in town after their huge chase, but either his cavalier dress is going to be really helpful in pursuing a wanted criminal or seriously detrimental in a bar full of thieves. Fifty fifty odds were decent!]

[vytis]

[And Lithuania's following behind both of them, now that he can run again. He's going to need to repair his clothes, though, since they aren't really covered in a first aid spell, but that can come later.]

Wait! [This request is completely pointless but he feels like he has to make the effort of requesting it anyway.]

50 / 50 came up heads :'D

[mostlymarried]

[LUCKILY FOR YOU they're right outside the Warrior's Guild. Specifically, they're inside the bar all the Paladins use (which is directly opposite the bar all the Punishers use; hilarity often ensues). Either way, point is they're sympathise with a Lancer any day over a bloody Punisher wielding a kitchen knife.

You'll find Belarus with her hands in the air and a small ring of swords pointed at her throat]

...You could have gotten another apple.

[notyetlost]

Ha! Ha! Ha! [Wow, no that was really lucky actually he probably would have died otherwise.]

Yeah I could have, but like that's totally not the point. [Poland takes her satchel, careful to pull out the apple and not the pig's heart. Although really at this point they're both so bloody it's hard to tell the difference. He turns a little green holding it, but he turns his attention back to Belarus.]

Nobody calls me fat and gets away with it!

[vytis]

[Lithuania stumbles out of the kitchen and

stands there.

Oh God, you guys, what is going on?]

[mostlymarried]

[Litva she's (not) sorry, but you're probably not going to hear the end of this.]

Then I hope you'll enjoy your meal.

[notyetlost]

Yeah...

I'm like totally not eating this now, is there a waste basket around here?

[vytis]

[Lithuania is just going to casually try to get Belarus out of this by convincing these other paladins this is all a crazy misunderstanding!

Don't mind him, you guys discuss the apple.]