TEST DRIVE ; no. 1

[powergamer]

TEST DRIVE MEME

So first of all, welcome to Dyspros' very first test drive meme! We're happy that you're interested in the game, and we hope that you have some fun playing with the setting, regardless of whether you decide to join or not.

As a general reminder, we recommend that you look over the game information before jumping in. In addition, if you decide you're ready to join, you're welcome to put in a reserve, and applications will open on May 4th at 12:01 AM (EST). Finally, if you have any questions or concerns, please send us a message!

So now, without further ado, let's get to playing:

A ; NEW RECRUIT

Well then, welcome to the guild, Initiate! After some thought (or maybe the choice was obvious), you've finally settled on a guild, and you're ready to get started. You're welcome to check out your accommodations and see what kind of people you'll be living with for the foreseeable future. This is your home now, so hopefully you get alone with them. If not, then you can just spend all of your time sharpening your skills!

Whether you're just claiming your bed or you're jumping right into the thick of things to practice or sign up for a mission, a new recruit is unlikely to go unnoticed.

B ; MISSION TIME

It's your first mission, which is pretty exciting, right? You have all these pictures in your head of going off to fight a dragon, to come home with great riches and valor...

Too bad those missions are for the higher ups.

No, it's the middle of the night, and you're out guarding the small fields just outside of town from wild animals. Right now you're standing by the cucumbers, which are considered especially important to guard, for some reason. You have to fight off sleepiness somehow, so maybe an animal will come out for you to scare off, or maybe you'll just end up chatting with whoever is stuck doing this with you.

Or you know, if you're a dick, you'll steal the vegetables for yourself.

C ; STORM THE CASTLE

Okay, the missions for initiates are pretty lame, and you're ready for some real fighting. You can go alone, or you can go with some other people, but it's off to Castle Dyspros! You'll find a variety of creatures to fight, and the power of teamwork will help you make progress through the castle!

Or you'll die. There's that too. Good thing it's fairly inconsequential, if weird!

Either way, have fun fighting to your heart's content!

D ; PICK YOUR OWN

Just like it says, if none of the others appeal to you, feel free to make up your own prompt!

Comments

[soarloser]

[He still doesn't know what a pilot is. What is a captain in the sky? Is this a riddle? He will have to figure it out and get back to him one day.

But fine, he will accept this change of conversation. Even though it's surprisingly difficult. He's a lot of things after all.]

I travel. [on boat and caravans like real people do.] I'm on leave from the army.

[On leave, on probation. Same thing. Still better than saying he's acting as a spy during political upheaval.]

[lucena]

[Would you like him to get technical about proper flying ships and how they work? Because he can do that. He will draw diagrams in the dirt and everything.

This answer is kinda boring... He looks disappointed again, but more bored and less devastated this time. Why did it have to be armies...]

I bet that takes a while.

[Traveling. On the ground.]

[soarloser]

[He would probably find it really interesting is the funny thing. It flies like birds. Flying is cool.

Mahmut notices the reaction but he finds it hardly surprising. This guy is obviously not the military type. If this guy knew he used to be a Pasha he wouldn't react like this. But it's not like he is going to brag about something he got demoted from. As if he was the type to brag at all.]

This trip is not about how quickly I can move.

[He has to learn ~lessons~.]

[lucena]

[Give him a call - that's a thing that lets you talk without being next to someone - when you want Vanships 101 then.

"Not the military type," true enough, but he's seen enough of that kind of thing. The joke is he totally would react in the exact same way even if he knew what Pashwhat was. He lifts his hands in that fun little camera square again and frames this uptight child.]

Is it for fun?

[He feels you, man. This one time he became a prisoner of war for fun, it was great.]

[soarloser]

[Are you going to make fun of him every single thread? Classic ageism here. Bronze ageism.

This is a lot more awkward than he ever wanted. Back home every city he went to knew about his rise and fall in government. There are plays about it. It's weird to have to actually explain it to someone.]

No. [He is distinctly embarrassed...] It is a mission to better myself. I am still too immature.

[lucena]

[Plays, for real? In the presence of a superstar...

Dio blinks. Too immature? Maybe that's because he's, like, twelve. Right? In any case, being as he is a person who spends a lot of time traveling because he damn well feels like it, and can only associate bettering oneself with memories of his sister he'd like to forget -- this is awkward.

He zooms in with his hand camera, which is definitely not awkward.]

You can be mature and have fun.

[soarloser]

[His GREAT friends use his stories for material. It's hard knowing a traveling actors trope.

Fun? Mature and fun? No, that's impossible. There is only protection of Greater Turkiye. No fun allowed! Professional stick in the mud right here.]

This isn't about fun!

[It's actually a bit of a shriek. Look at him continue to embarrass himself.]

[lucena]

[He has emotions besides 'annoyed'--! Dio actually startles, but other than a jolt he doesn't do anything but blink a few times and stare at him. Oh no, now his new friend hates him...

Honestly, something about this very strong anti-fun, pro-armystuff attitude puts him off. Hasn't he dealt with enough overzealous warrior types by now? It's bothering him; enough that he makes a point to sound less flippant, for once:]

Purpose and process aren't that widely separated. Plenty of things aren't about fun!

[For example

flying a sweet ship.]

[soarloser]

[He can be happy too!! Like when he sits quietly in a corner during a festival and watches other people party. He's happy then.

The fact that Dio actually sounds serious is enough to make Mahmut take a step back and calm the fuck down. It's hard for him to tone down the militant seriousness, he's been in the army since he was 12. He is also painfully aware of his serious nature since it gets poked fun at all the time.

So the least he can do is concede that Dio is right.]

That's true. I have no doubt the trip would have been more enjoyable if I didn't seem to invite discord.

[He literally walked into a city the day it declared war. He has bad luck... Not that he doesn't get enjoyment in thwarting the Empire's plans but that isn't standard Fun.]

[lucena]

[Wow...

Dio is so right, he is always right. Come, tell big brother Dio your troubles, little friend.]

You can have my shooting star, then.

[This makes sense and is logical. Stay with him.]

Sounds like you need the luck more than I do.

[soarloser]

[Wow right back at you. What a strange yet endearing thing to say to someone........

Mahmut isn't the type to be pointlessly dismissive so he actually does smile a bit at it. Be happy, he could have said something about making his own luck or whatever.]

Thank you. Although I don't think I need it in this land. They haven't even heard of the Baltein Empire here.

[Or his country or anything. So strange.]

[lucena]

[You've activated his big brother card. There's no escape now. Look at that little smile he caused; TEN POINTS FOR DIO.]

Keep it for a cloudy day. [He flops back down in the grass, considering his seriousness quota met for the time being.]

You're right, though. But you probably haven't heard of- ["The Guild," uh, well, he's learning that's not very specific around here, so--] Anatoray? Disith? Turan?

[The point being: don't angst about your homeland, boy, just be appreciative (of his imaginary luck charm).]

So you might as well keep it.

[soarloser]

[He is a grown man he doesn't need a big brother! You're only one year older!!!!

And it goes without saying that, yeah, he really doesn't know what any of those things are so he doesn't say anything about that. Instead Mahmut leans against the fence that has always been here because of course a farm has a fence.]

Considering magic is real here it might just work as well. You might regret giving it away later.

[lucena]

[Excuse me I believe I said "no escape."

Also don't sass him about what he does with his lucky star. That's... his business... his very serious business. Shut up.]

Keep that up and you'll owe me one. I'm being generous.

[soarloser]

[But he is so dependable and mature already...

Mahmut doesn't really reply. He just sort of chuckles for a second. It's subtle, you might miss it. Maybe he will write a poem later about stars or something. 4 u.

Speaking about serious business, remember that really important mission they had and are totally ignoring? Yeah. He turns to look at the field, wondering if he should actually do a round around it.

Who is really going to steal cucumbers? It's written all over his face but he isn't saying it out loud.]

[lucena]

[No, he's 12.

This is some Five Leaves level nothing happening going on. Dio also looks over... at the field...

Oh yeah he had a question before that he just remembered, wait for it:]

By the way. [He flaps a hand, then points at the field.] What are these?

[Rich bitches don't garden. And there's a fair chance cucumbers are extinct in Last Exile.]

[soarloser]

[What can I say? I just can't escape from our roots.

This must have been how Dio felt when Mahmut didn't know what a pilot was. He is going to assume he means the plant though, because who doesn't know what a farm is? It's pretty much the basic of the basic.]

They're cucumbers. You've never had one before? They make good appetizers.

[So culturally enriching. I feel like a millionaire.]

[lucena]

[Unless bird boy has a deep and passionate attachment to vegetation then, no, this vague "what kind of loser doesn't know what a cucumber is" feeling is like ten thousand leagues below the knife in Dio's heart that is "what is a pilot." JUST SAYING. Cucumber boy. Cabbage patch kid.

Alright. Vegetables. Dio gives them a look.]

Maybe something like them... [Cucumbers of the future.]

Are they rare?