dysprosooc | TEST DRIVE ; no. 1

TEST DRIVE MEME

So first of all, welcome to Dyspros' very first test drive meme! We're happy that you're interested in the game, and we hope that you have some fun playing with the setting, regardless of whether you decide to join or not.

As a general reminder, we recommend that you look over the game information before jumping in. In addition, if you decide you're ready to join, you're welcome to put in a reserve, and applications will open on May 4th at 12:01 AM (EST). Finally, if you have any questions or concerns, please send us a message!

So now, without further ado, let's get to playing:

A ; NEW RECRUIT
Well then, welcome to the guild, Initiate! After some thought (or maybe the choice was obvious), you've finally settled on a guild, and you're ready to get started. You're welcome to check out your accommodations and see what kind of people you'll be living with for the foreseeable future. This is your home now, so hopefully you get alone with them. If not, then you can just spend all of your time sharpening your skills!

Whether you're just claiming your bed or you're jumping right into the thick of things to practice or sign up for a mission, a new recruit is unlikely to go unnoticed.
B ; MISSION TIME
It's your first mission, which is pretty exciting, right? You have all these pictures in your head of going off to fight a dragon, to come home with great riches and valor...

Too bad those missions are for the higher ups.

No, it's the middle of the night, and you're out guarding the small fields just outside of town from wild animals. Right now you're standing by the cucumbers, which are considered especially important to guard, for some reason. You have to fight off sleepiness somehow, so maybe an animal will come out for you to scare off, or maybe you'll just end up chatting with whoever is stuck doing this with you.

Or you know, if you're a dick, you'll steal the vegetables for yourself.
C ; STORM THE CASTLE
Okay, the missions for initiates are pretty lame, and you're ready for some real fighting. You can go alone, or you can go with some other people, but it's off to Castle Dyspros! You'll find a variety of creatures to fight, and the power of teamwork will help you make progress through the castle!

Or you'll die. There's that too. Good thing it's fairly inconsequential, if weird!

Either way, have fun fighting to your heart's content!
D ; PICK YOUR OWN
Just like it says, if none of the others appeal to you, feel free to make up your own prompt!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ yozora puts down her shopping bag. wait for it... wait for it... ]

Don't use friendship as an excuse for your sick fantasies, you lolicon! [ squishes sena's ugly face between her palms so her stupid puffer fish impression deflates.

now she's left with fish lips. ]

[ she's just going to ineffectually flail her arms around but will keep talking anyway ]

Mwuhffle wohwomwoohmfffff!!!

[ translation: Don't you dare say that my fantasies are sick!!!!!!!

...........so you do you have them sena?! ]

[ yozora finally lets go and picks up her things because this is sad to watch ]

So this is how you've been spending your time? Trying to befriend whores?

Hmph, if you're going to recruit, at least get the ones most beneficial to the club. [ the neighbors club. yozora digs in her shopping bag for a piece of paper and shows it to sena.

it's a rank 1 mission for one fighter and one mage! it's from an oracle who needs a party to level up more in the castle.

but it doesn't say if the oracle's a boy or a girl. ]

[ bristling ] They're entertainers! They're like the idols of this world! If I'd known about this guild before I might have picked this one- no, I don't want to perform, I just want to manage them like in iM@ttress...

Heh, I shouldn't be surprised that you wouldn't be able to appreciate the value of their support! Various stories have been told about how pop music saves lives! [ and hey kawamori built his career on it ] Between my discerning standards and your lowborn "I'll take anyone!" taste, the better choice is obvious!

[ and she crosses her arms and sullenly eyes the parchment. her expression changes when she spots the word oracle ] Eh?! That's an invitation from an oracle!

[ sena being gross in 5...4... ]

[ yozora looks rather smug, herself. ]

Of course. Seeing as there's no use for you in battle other than being a meat shield, I took pity on you and gave you a tool. Treasure it.

[ she doesn't know what she's in for

is this the part where sena starts being gross

please say no ]

[ what was that? please say "yes, i'd love to read the part where sena grossly slobbers her grossness onto the universe"? well since you asked so nicely ]

So you've finally fulfilled your purpose in life!

[ ok you'd think that by now sena would have learned to be suspicious whenever yozora is in any way helpful, nice or like not actively trying to make her miserable. is it masochism? naive rich girl gullibility? nope that's not her character archetype. she just can't help herself because if it's true ]

A cute healer just for me! [ .........sena you know you're going to join the oracle's party, not have that oracle delivered to you in a box right? ] A healer in a nun outfit! A healer clumsily wielding a mace!

If you try to describe her in greater detail, I might have to hex you.

This oracle is your chance at making a friend, Meat, so make it count. I recommend hurting yourself from fighting monsters so she'll heal you and give you all the attention you need.

Oh no but that's a problem! It's already well known that just as should be expected from me, I'm a genius at fighting too! [ she looks seriously troubled by this #meatproblems ] But to have Oracle-chan worried about me... [ ugh don't trail off you're obviously about to lapse into a fantasy sequence! ]

[ oh my god sena are you For Real

don't answer that ]

You're too slow, Meat. Don't you know this by now? People become friends when they save each other from danger!

[ that... MAKES SENSE TO SENA ]

Just like in The Sacred Blackstar! The trials that Lucas and Cecilia faced only brought them closer together! I'll be the Lucas to Oracle-chan's Cecilia....................................

[ NO SENA STOP THAT'S TOO GROSS ]

Disgusting. [ HITS HER WITH A STAFF ] Keep your grubby hands to yourself or I'll report you to authorities.

Anyway, we have to meet them at the castle lobby in half an hour, so let's go.

[ yeah... and she only bothered to tell sena about it now... ]

[ her head snaps back from the blow but that doesn't wipe the dreamy look from her face... the rest of yozora's words does though ]

What?! Who says you're going with us! I thought it was just going to be me and Oracle-chan!

[ She takes the paper with the mission written on it and holds it out of Sena's reach. ]

Haaaah? What's that? I can't hear you over the sound of this paper that qualifies you as an official party member.

Recognize when you're getting in the way, you demonic fox woman! If you ruin a thadump thadump moment between Oracle-chan and I, I'll send you to hell!

[ looking a little demonic yourself there, sena ]

The only things I'll be ruining between the two of you are your inappropriate advances on underage children, you rotten slab of meat! [ i need scarier icons for this but whatever ] Besides, aren't you forgetting something? I'm hell itself!

[ SUMMONS CORPSES OF two maggot-infested kittens ]

[ LKJDF WOW LEAVING THIS HERE TO BE IMMORTALIZED FOREVER NEKOMANCER ]

TEST DRIVE ; no. 1

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