dysprosooc | TEST DRIVE ; no. 1

Entry tags:

*test drive meme

TEST DRIVE ; no. 1

TEST DRIVE MEME

So first of all, welcome to Dyspros' very first test drive meme! We're happy that you're interested in the game, and we hope that you have some fun playing with the setting, regardless of whether you decide to join or not.

As a general reminder, we recommend that you look over the game information before jumping in. In addition, if you decide you're ready to join, you're welcome to put in a reserve, and applications will open on May 4th at 12:01 AM (EST). Finally, if you have any questions or concerns, please send us a message!

So now, without further ado, let's get to playing:

A ; NEW RECRUIT
Well then, welcome to the guild, Initiate! After some thought (or maybe the choice was obvious), you've finally settled on a guild, and you're ready to get started. You're welcome to check out your accommodations and see what kind of people you'll be living with for the foreseeable future. This is your home now, so hopefully you get alone with them. If not, then you can just spend all of your time sharpening your skills!

Whether you're just claiming your bed or you're jumping right into the thick of things to practice or sign up for a mission, a new recruit is unlikely to go unnoticed.
B ; MISSION TIME
It's your first mission, which is pretty exciting, right? You have all these pictures in your head of going off to fight a dragon, to come home with great riches and valor...

Too bad those missions are for the higher ups.

No, it's the middle of the night, and you're out guarding the small fields just outside of town from wild animals. Right now you're standing by the cucumbers, which are considered especially important to guard, for some reason. You have to fight off sleepiness somehow, so maybe an animal will come out for you to scare off, or maybe you'll just end up chatting with whoever is stuck doing this with you.

Or you know, if you're a dick, you'll steal the vegetables for yourself.
C ; STORM THE CASTLE
Okay, the missions for initiates are pretty lame, and you're ready for some real fighting. You can go alone, or you can go with some other people, but it's off to Castle Dyspros! You'll find a variety of creatures to fight, and the power of teamwork will help you make progress through the castle!

Or you'll die. There's that too. Good thing it's fairly inconsequential, if weird!

Either way, have fun fighting to your heart's content!
D ; PICK YOUR OWN
Just like it says, if none of the others appeal to you, feel free to make up your own prompt!

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[ The Mage Guild's dungeon is the last place anyone wants to be, yet here you are. Whatever Ossidia wants you to do for a Rank 1 mission, it sure does seem important... and dangerous. That's the number one adjective that should first come to mind when dealing with the guildmaster Ossidia.

Unfortunately, you have no choice but to stay put in the arms of her two undead child servants. Try not to mind their rotting smell as she makes preparations. A sinister chuckle escapes her as she chucks the ingredients in and churns the bubbling mixture of organs and questionable liquids. Ossidia begins muttering, and the concoction starts to glow. ]

Dev ol ebymem, ot mih ngir. Benim rever, ofenim mi khema. Enim, enimof rever!

[ Poof! A mushroom cloud forms above the potion, now a bright shade of pink. Shortly after the liquid settles, Ossidia takes a ladle of it and pours it in a cup. ]

This better be worth the hours I spent castrating wild deer and gouging out the eyes of stray dogs—oh, Firuze de Roche! ♥ The things I do for you...

[ UH, YEAH, SHE'S SAYING THAT WHILE YOU'RE STILL HERE! Maybe you shouldn't have taken this mission after all... ]

[ THIS IS NOT A MISSION he didn't sign up for this!!!!!!!

Just the sound of her voice as she mixes that potion is enough to churn his stomach. She was truly a fearsome woman... No matter how many traps he set, how many bodyguards he hired, she was still always able to weasel her potions into his drinks somehow. Yeah, actually, his legs still felt like jelly from the one that she had used to drag him here, and who even knows what vile thing she's making now... ]

While I'm flattered that such a lovely woman would be willing to go through such pains for my—ergh—sake... This is a little much. [ As usual... ]

I mean, I'm hardly worth the trouble, really. Why don't you share your, uh, affection with someone else?

[ TOO BAD he's getting paid in kind

Before he punctuates that question properly, Ossidia places a finger on his lips—the same finger she used to pinch and throw in those dead rats and lizard tails. ]

Shh, don't speak, my love. The flames of my passion could not possibly this intense with anyone in the realm. [ An uncharacteristic giggle. ] Did you like that? I've been trying to omit words such as "death" and "corpse" in my poetry...

[ Without warning, Ossidia sits him down Mortem and Malady, now transformed into a chair of flesh and bone. Look, their skulls are on the end of the armrests! ]

Stay here. I have created the most wonderful drink for you.

[ Wonderful? How the potion bubbles even after she pours it into a cup says otherwise. ]

[ oh god he's gonna barf ]

[ No seriously, he gets pale pretty quickly, and the greenish tint to his skin may be half from memory and half from the "why" of right now. ]

It's not as if you give me a choice in the matter!

[ Which sounded rather alarmed instead of his usual cool, suave self. So he coughs as if to reorganize his thoughts, giving a charming smile. He's never been able to charm his way out of this in the past, but at the same time, he's desperate every time. ]

Your poetry is truly remarkable, and it would be ungentlemanly of me to refuse a lady's cooking, especially when she's put so much, er, effort into it, but... But dear Ossidia, your hard work also tends to conflict with me, to not fault of your own! It's simply my weak stomach...

Weak stomach? [ Ossidia looks over her shoulder before turning around and approaching. ] Yes, I often hear about it.

[ More than twice! So she sits on Firuze's lap with the cup of brew in her hand. It goes without saying that his smile brings a smile to her face, but rarely does it give him his way. ]

It worries me so! To think that my potions have that effect on you... [ She plants a kiss on his forehead, leaving a stain of lipstick. That action isn't a spell, but she has used the same method in the past. ] But do not fret, dearest Firuze. I have found a cure.

[ She raises the cup in her hand. Guess what's two inches away from his lips. Guess. ]

[ pain and suffering IS IT PAIN AND SUFFERING ]

[ Well, by the way he flinches with pretty much every movement of hers, it might as well be. He jerks his head back at the kiss, and then rolls it back as far as it will go once she's bringing that nasty-ass potion closer to his lips. ]

Th-Then stop trying to make me drink them—!! Divines, Ossidia, this one smells espec— [ oh yes that is the feeling of bile rising in his stomach ]

[ he'll barf on you!! don't make him do it!!!! ]

[ DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER ]

—ially scrumptious? Oh, I knew you would love it!

[ But a drop of dark liquid falls from the ceiling and into the drink. Don't question it, Firuze—the dungeon just saved your life. HAHAHAHA ]

Curse these wretched dungeon walls. I will have to throw this out...

[ The woman gets up from his lap and dumps the liquid on a scurrying rat, which transforms into a wolf halfway before dying on the spot. ]

[The harsh demands of this brave new world are required to be met if one would wish to gain power. It should have been clear that acquisition of power requires different measures to be taken depending on your station in society. Far from the imperial throne, Maximilian finds himself consolidating strength from the bottom rung. He eyes the dubious brew and frowns, expressing distaste for the odor filling the room let alone Undead rot lingering in the air.]

Your considerable efforts put into creating that odious solution have little relevance to Us. We merely suggest that you do not further waste valuable time. Let this be done with quickly if you would be so kind, Guildmaster.

[ Ossidia's expression sours as she grabs her staff and points it at Maximilian. How dare he! ]

Are you saying that my love is insignificant? My feelings for Firuze are only great and true. Do you want me to prove it? Perhaps I should write it in your blood.

[ But corpses are useless when what she really needs is a messenger. She lowers her staff and scoops a portion of the potion into a glass vial. ]

Where the districts of Steelmount and Nickelhollow meet—the one closest to the city walls—pour this on a stray cat.

[Maximilian stares down the (well, I'm assuming based on general staff aesthetics) knobby tip of Ossidia's staff. His eyes narrow further at the woman and the inexplicable threat. A click of his tongue would suffice, but well, best not to push it, eh?]

"Love". Does it mean the same thing here in this world? It is always such a curious word.

[Well, fine, let's push it a little further.]

Are We to believe what is good for a cat is good for your... hm. Beau?

[That is, providing that the true purpose of the brew is to give to darling Firuze.]

Edited 2013-04-23 16:33 (UTC)

This is a new potion I have been working on. It would usually take me twice as long to prepare two separate brews for my plans, but I think I've found the perfect solution.

[ Usually, there was one for diversion and one for the kill. Ossidia's found a way to combine both. She leans in to reassure him, although that smile may convince him otherwise. ]

Don't you fret. I would never hurt my beloved...

[ what's with women and the crazy plans they come up for all in the name of "love"? it's like the single most reliable constant across the worlds... he could have sworn he would have found people closer to his way of thinking in the mage guild but - nope. not a chance.

sigh.

maybe he should have joined the scholars after all... ]

I wonder if there's still time to reconsider my options.

You're not thinking of leaving, are you? I won't let the testicles of twenty or so deer go to waste because of an Initiate.

[ She pours the potion into a glass vial. ]

If you complete this mission, I might even consider casting a hex for you. Is there anyone you want dead?

[ twenty deer testicles.... yeah, Leon is no longer going to question the extremes that women will go through for love. ]

I don't need anyone dead. [ not here at least ] I only want to learn about the workings of the magic of this world, especially that of necromancy.

All of you are so impatient... I will personally teach you in due time, if you wish. [ Ossidia leans backward as if to sit down, and the two undead children holding Leon earlier disassemble and rearrange themselves to make a chair for their master. ]

But first, there is something you must do for me.

[ Leon doesn't say at her remark. It isn't productive to ruffle the feathers of the woman who will be his teacher. Though when the two undead children let him go, he instinctively rubs his arms and straightens his sleeves. ]

Yes, what is it?

[ like hell this is going to put sena off ]

Hey! Are you saying you're not even sure that potion will work?! Don't you know that false advertising is a major crime?! [ but it's not!!! ] The only reason I even agreed to take this mission in the first place is because you promised I could take some of that potion for my own use!

[ oh no sena what are you planning ]

[ Ossidia resumes her usual demeanor once Sena reminds her of the initiate's presence. ]

Intelligence was never a strong point for you lot. [ Ossidia dips a bouquet of roses into the cauldron. Once she pulls it out, it looks prettier than ever. More fragrant, even. ] Its success isn't entirely dependent on me, you see. I say that because you will be delivering it.

[ SHOVES THE BOUQUET AT HER, AHAHA ]

Bring this to Firuze and make him smell it.

[ miraculously sena's managing to restrain herself from a HDU tirade... but then again it's probably not so unusual given how badly sena wants that potion. exhibit a: look at this gross dungeon ]

Is that really all I have to do? That sounds way too simple! How exactly is this supposed to work anyway? I don't want to be blamed if he ends up wanting to become my servant instead of yours!

[ not exactly the smartest thing to say to a yandere ]

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TEST DRIVE ; no. 1

Ossidia Bloodstone | Dyspros NPC

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