TEST DRIVE ; no. 1

[powergamer]

TEST DRIVE MEME

So first of all, welcome to Dyspros' very first test drive meme! We're happy that you're interested in the game, and we hope that you have some fun playing with the setting, regardless of whether you decide to join or not.

As a general reminder, we recommend that you look over the game information before jumping in. In addition, if you decide you're ready to join, you're welcome to put in a reserve, and applications will open on May 4th at 12:01 AM (EST). Finally, if you have any questions or concerns, please send us a message!

So now, without further ado, let's get to playing:

A ; NEW RECRUIT

Well then, welcome to the guild, Initiate! After some thought (or maybe the choice was obvious), you've finally settled on a guild, and you're ready to get started. You're welcome to check out your accommodations and see what kind of people you'll be living with for the foreseeable future. This is your home now, so hopefully you get alone with them. If not, then you can just spend all of your time sharpening your skills!

Whether you're just claiming your bed or you're jumping right into the thick of things to practice or sign up for a mission, a new recruit is unlikely to go unnoticed.

B ; MISSION TIME

It's your first mission, which is pretty exciting, right? You have all these pictures in your head of going off to fight a dragon, to come home with great riches and valor...

Too bad those missions are for the higher ups.

No, it's the middle of the night, and you're out guarding the small fields just outside of town from wild animals. Right now you're standing by the cucumbers, which are considered especially important to guard, for some reason. You have to fight off sleepiness somehow, so maybe an animal will come out for you to scare off, or maybe you'll just end up chatting with whoever is stuck doing this with you.

Or you know, if you're a dick, you'll steal the vegetables for yourself.

C ; STORM THE CASTLE

Okay, the missions for initiates are pretty lame, and you're ready for some real fighting. You can go alone, or you can go with some other people, but it's off to Castle Dyspros! You'll find a variety of creatures to fight, and the power of teamwork will help you make progress through the castle!

Or you'll die. There's that too. Good thing it's fairly inconsequential, if weird!

Either way, have fun fighting to your heart's content!

D ; PICK YOUR OWN

Just like it says, if none of the others appeal to you, feel free to make up your own prompt!

Comments

[undyinglove]

[ TOO BAD he's getting paid in kind

Before he punctuates that question properly, Ossidia places a finger on his lips—the same finger she used to pinch and throw in those dead rats and lizard tails. ]

Shh, don't speak, my love. The flames of my passion could not possibly this intense with anyone in the realm. [ An uncharacteristic giggle. ] Did you like that? I've been trying to omit words such as "death" and "corpse" in my poetry...

[ Without warning, Ossidia sits him down Mortem and Malady, now transformed into a chair of flesh and bone. Look, their skulls are on the end of the armrests! ]

Stay here. I have created the most wonderful drink for you.

[ Wonderful? How the potion bubbles even after she pours it into a cup says otherwise. ]

[asstate]

[ oh god he's gonna barf ]

[ No seriously, he gets pale pretty quickly, and the greenish tint to his skin may be half from memory and half from the "why" of right now. ]

It's not as if you give me a choice in the matter!

[ Which sounded rather alarmed instead of his usual cool, suave self. So he coughs as if to reorganize his thoughts, giving a charming smile. He's never been able to charm his way out of this in the past, but at the same time, he's desperate every time. ]

Your poetry is truly remarkable, and it would be ungentlemanly of me to refuse a lady's cooking, especially when she's put so much, er, effort into it, but... But dear Ossidia, your hard work also tends to conflict with me, to not fault of your own! It's simply my weak stomach...

[undyinglove]

Weak stomach? [ Ossidia looks over her shoulder before turning around and approaching. ] Yes, I often hear about it.

[ More than twice! So she sits on Firuze's lap with the cup of brew in her hand. It goes without saying that his smile brings a smile to her face, but rarely does it give him his way. ]

It worries me so! To think that my potions have that effect on you... [ She plants a kiss on his forehead, leaving a stain of lipstick. That action isn't a spell, but she has used the same method in the past. ] But do not fret, dearest Firuze. I have found a cure.

[ She raises the cup in her hand. Guess what's two inches away from his lips. Guess. ]

[asstate]

[ pain and suffering IS IT PAIN AND SUFFERING ]

[ Well, by the way he flinches with pretty much every movement of hers, it might as well be. He jerks his head back at the kiss, and then rolls it back as far as it will go once she's bringing that nasty-ass potion closer to his lips. ]

Th-Then stop trying to make me drink them—!! Divines, Ossidia, this one smells espec— [ oh yes that is the feeling of bile rising in his stomach ]

[ he'll barf on you!! don't make him do it!!!! ]

1/2

[undyinglove]

[ DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER ]

—ially scrumptious? Oh, I knew you would love it!

[undyinglove]

[ But a drop of dark liquid falls from the ceiling and into the drink. Don't question it, Firuze—the dungeon just saved your life. HAHAHAHA ]

Curse these wretched dungeon walls. I will have to throw this out...

[ The woman gets up from his lap and dumps the liquid on a scurrying rat, which transforms into a wolf halfway before dying on the spot. ]