TEST DRIVE ; no. 1

[powergamer]

TEST DRIVE MEME

So first of all, welcome to Dyspros' very first test drive meme! We're happy that you're interested in the game, and we hope that you have some fun playing with the setting, regardless of whether you decide to join or not.

As a general reminder, we recommend that you look over the game information before jumping in. In addition, if you decide you're ready to join, you're welcome to put in a reserve, and applications will open on May 4th at 12:01 AM (EST). Finally, if you have any questions or concerns, please send us a message!

So now, without further ado, let's get to playing:

A ; NEW RECRUIT

Well then, welcome to the guild, Initiate! After some thought (or maybe the choice was obvious), you've finally settled on a guild, and you're ready to get started. You're welcome to check out your accommodations and see what kind of people you'll be living with for the foreseeable future. This is your home now, so hopefully you get alone with them. If not, then you can just spend all of your time sharpening your skills!

Whether you're just claiming your bed or you're jumping right into the thick of things to practice or sign up for a mission, a new recruit is unlikely to go unnoticed.

B ; MISSION TIME

It's your first mission, which is pretty exciting, right? You have all these pictures in your head of going off to fight a dragon, to come home with great riches and valor...

Too bad those missions are for the higher ups.

No, it's the middle of the night, and you're out guarding the small fields just outside of town from wild animals. Right now you're standing by the cucumbers, which are considered especially important to guard, for some reason. You have to fight off sleepiness somehow, so maybe an animal will come out for you to scare off, or maybe you'll just end up chatting with whoever is stuck doing this with you.

Or you know, if you're a dick, you'll steal the vegetables for yourself.

C ; STORM THE CASTLE

Okay, the missions for initiates are pretty lame, and you're ready for some real fighting. You can go alone, or you can go with some other people, but it's off to Castle Dyspros! You'll find a variety of creatures to fight, and the power of teamwork will help you make progress through the castle!

Or you'll die. There's that too. Good thing it's fairly inconsequential, if weird!

Either way, have fun fighting to your heart's content!

D ; PICK YOUR OWN

Just like it says, if none of the others appeal to you, feel free to make up your own prompt!

Comments

dave strider | homestuck

[beat]

option b;
[ When it's the dead of night and the greatest mission your guild can currently offer you is guarding someone's vegetable garden, things tend to get... boring. If you're Dave, the best way to ignore the increasingly persistent nudge of offense taken from being assigned such an unimportant task would clearly be to make conversation with the guy next to you. You know, to stay awake. Fuck their life story. ]

Dude. If a Berserker and a Punisher had a fight who would win?

[ Referring to two classes, of course. ]


option d;
[ And he's wandering around Silverbourne, which is considerably less busy than the last district he was in. He's making his way through, but he can't shake the feeling of unease. It's all too familiar with these parts of town; one minute he's window-gazing, the next some guy on a motorcycle pulls up right in front of him and threatens to shoot, forcing him to give up his monkey. Just like how he could've sworn that happened in a less-than-ironic graphic comedy, his life in Goldvale would likely be enhanced by having some sort of good luck charm. And even if the guild leader asked, he'd just tell him the his revelation. You know what would make guild life better? A pet monkey.

So he stops the next person he sees. ]

Hey — you know where the pet store is?

option b

[assiduous]

[ dude, don't rip on the night shift jobs, they're respectable, and, more importantly, pay money. you can't buy a pet monkey without money, bro. arms folded as he leans against a short stone wall, mako quirks an eyebrow at the question, is silent a moment, then replies with certainty, ]

Punisher. [ and status effects will counteract the bonuses going berserk gives, plus w/out a healer, they're going to run themselves into the ground, PLUS if you consider the hexing capabilities of a Punisher... ]

[beat]

[ Wow, Mako. Going for the guy with the upperhand defense — which is totally fine, but also kind of predictable. Dave's just going to raise an eyebrow in a completely subtle I Knew It manner. God, he's really bored. ]

Sure. [ Still. If he was a Punisher, the prospect of a Berserker coming, well, berserk at him is slightly unsettling. He probably couldn't hit CTRL+B fast enough; but then again, he's yet to see berserk mode in action. ]

[assiduous]

[ but punishers technically have lower defense than paladins... they're equally attack oriented classes, but in terms of being able to impede their opponent and think tactically, a punisher has the upper hand.

mako, however, is not saying that he'd like to try and fight a berserker without slashing the ligaments in the back of their knees first ]

What, you don't think so? [ a rustling off in the shrubbery to the left, and mako stoops to pry a small stone out of the dirt, letting it roll around in his palm as he watches to see if it needs lobbed at any racoon-cats or something. ]

[beat]

[ Well, a Berserker's lost ability to control probably would likely affect them keeping up their defense... meh, upper hand by comparison is more like it.

...Fuck you Jocko, an existence relative to sports strategies is generally outside his comfort zone. There's only one way to be sure. ]

Actually, I'm thinking speculation gets us nowhere. For all we know, five eons ago Punishers and Berserkers got into a huge fight over who would win in a fight, and the Wicked Witch of the West cursed both classes into never disagreeing again. Maybe they're like buddy-buddy TJ and Amal, and it's destiny's mutilated idea of a shitty joke for no one to ever witness a black magic versus swingin' axe throwdown ever again. Now let's approach this scenario logically.

[ He eyes the bush before turning to Mako again, cocking his chin slightly upward. ] Four words, man: Live Action Role Play. Test and run trial. Acid trip without acid. [ Because, really. Do you even LARP? ]

[assiduous]

[ ... what? mako looks away from the shrub, bemused. he thinks he might? might sort of have the gist of what this kid is saying (though he is side eyeing the use of the phrase "role play" a bit), pretend to play it out?

that sounds like it won't end well, probably for the cabbages. ]

Seriously?

[ the shrub rustles again, and mako's attention shifts to it, and then down to the stone in his palm, which, wobbling, lifts itself into the air for a second before dropping back down with a quiet tap. (he chose to practice earth summons after the first few fire ones ended poorly.) ]

[beat]

[ He's actually half-serious and half-joking, though somewhere in his subconscious he might be considering the logistics of his proposition. A pseudo-fight could totally test his knightly mobility, and what better time to do it than the middle of the night when no one's watching? ]

Yeah, I call Berserker. [ He juts a thumb in one direction. ] So. Mighty Mako. Should you accept this modest proposal and come out victorious, I hereby promise to let you sleep on duty. Do some soul-searching. Meditate all your chakras. Also, impromptu bathroom breaks for a month.

Now go stand over there.

1/3

[assiduous]

[ ( ・◇・)？ ]

[assiduous]

[ ... he's completely serious, jfc. ]

done.

[assiduous]

[ mako's fingers close around the stone, then, with a deft flick of his wrist, sends it flying into the shrubs with almost surprising speed and precision. it disturbs something to say the least, because the thing in question squawks indignantly and scampers out the other side in a dark blur, away from the two and the garden. ]

... Alright.

[ hands slipping into his pockets, he stops leaning on the wall and — after nudging his dumb bag of stolen books against the wall with his foot — leisurely picks his way over to the indicated position. ]

[beat]

[ As Mako makes his way over to the distant spot, Dave turns in his direction, feet kicking the dirt on the ground. ]

So, rules. [ Uncertainty levels rising as he bends his knees kind of like a goalie getting ready to catch a ball; hands on his knees after he rubs them a few times. ] First one to K'O the other wins night job privileges. First one to get K'Oed by the other eats dust. Or worse. Your pick, yo.

[ He'll give Mako a moment to warm up, then it's countdown time. ]

[assiduous]

[ mako looks at dave appraisingly, hands still in his pockets with a completely unironic air of detached but uncaring compliance, before sighing again, and shuffing his fingers through his hair. ]

Just so long as nothing gets smashed, alright? I still wanna get paid when this is over.

[ it's clear he just thinks he's humoring dave, but don't you forget he's here to work.

that isn't to say he won't play along, though. mako's warm up consists of cracking each individual knuckle, then, palms out and fingers laced together, his shoulders, arms swinging up over his head with practiced ease and audible pops. the usefulness of such a technique is debatable, but damn if it doesn't feel nice.

it also hopefully looks kind of intimidating, an considering how bored mako looks... ]

[beat]

[ He B L I N K S, twisting his mouth in the slightest. He hasn't actually seen Mako fight, let alone engage in what he's been told an 'Acid trip without acid'— how much of a threat was LARPing suppose to even pose? ]

Mental pinky promise. [ But he pushes those thoughts away, and shuffling his sheet; Dave begins to count, eyes strictly on Mako. ]

Three.

[ THE CRACKED KNUCKLES OF SPORTY MEN! ]

Two...

[ THE DARK OF THE VEGETABLE GARDEN! ]

...One.

[ SHIT'S ABOUT TO BE UNLEASHED—

With a scrape of his shoe against the ground, he charges. ]

[assiduous]

[ mako waits until almost just before the last second and —

... dodges to dave's left, letting his weight bounce on the balls of his feet, just like a boxer, hands up in front of him in a lazy guard position. ]

[beat]

[ ...Apparently the slowness gained from being in this world doesn't fade off so easily. When Mako dodges his charge, Dave feels himself fall forward, but at least he's quick enough to catch himself. He's got no time to think, so he does whatever he can to land a hit on Mako, and that means twisting left to throw a punch with his right arm. ]

[assiduous]

[ mako dodges again, ducking just out of the way in the last second, then feinting with a quick left cross, aiming to miss. ]

[beat]

[ He's not quite sure if he's trying really hard to capture the role of the Berserker, or he's just missing his sword(s), horribly.

Either way, as his right arm goes down in a miss, Dave does his best to utilize his remaining body parts by bending to his right side slightly, and swinging his left leg in an effort to trip Mako. ]

[assiduous]

[ it almost works — dave's foot catches mako behind the ankle, sweeping his foot forward and making him tip backwards precariously...

only for him to do some kind of rolling backbend instead, fingers splayed wide in the dirt.

missed again, and this time when mako rights himself, the jerk might even be smirking.

ACTUALLY, NO, HE IS SMIRKING. FOR REAL. WHAT A JERK. ]

1/3

[beat]

[ You've got to be fucking kidding. ]

2/3

[beat]

[ Was that... a smirk? A menacing, belittling smirk? Who died and made this jerk king of the jerks? Oh, wait. That's right — no one. This asshole was probably born like that.

And here Dave thought he was insufferable. 5 inches taller, strangely reminiscent of some other lean figure he was always capable of losing to... ]

b;

[castling]

[ Lucciola is the palest thing to ever walk the planet and is practically a nightlight out here on guard. He isn't a big conversationalist, but that topic is something he can weigh into. He responds without looking over. ]

That would rely on more elements than the class assignments, but if we are to assume that the two individuals involved were of equal skill, training and experience, I would say that the Berserker would be victorious if they were to take full advantage of their time and mobility from the beginning. If they delay, then the Punisher would have the clear advantage, as their stamina is likely to be higher.

[beat]

[ Brownie points definitely go to Lucciola for being way more engaged about this topic than Dave can ever hope to be. But if you'd happen to replace 'Punisher' and 'Berserker' with names of Pokemon, well... that just might spur a little more interest.

But anyway, he nods his head as he listens; when Lucciola finishes talking, there's a short mull of silence before Dave starts to speak. ]

A'ight, makes sense. But I think the real question here is — can you apply that logic to a vampires versus werewolves high school-styled debate.

[ The fact that this guy's pale skin stands out in the dead of night might've inspired Dave a little. ]

B

[pathseeker]

Alone with a lady and that is the topic of conversation you go with? Shall I swoon now or would later be more convenient for your busy schedule?

[Shaking her head at you, Dave. What a charmer.]

[beat]

Hold your swoons, Lalonde. The nerdy lancer in me has got to know.

[ If HYPOTHETICAL GUILD FIGHTS!! isn't that appropriate of a topic at half past midnight, then he'd hate to know what is... ]

[pathseeker]

Oh my, I'm afraid it's too late. The vapors have arrested me, and I fear I might fall at any moment.

[Her hand goes over her heart, but she shows no signs of actually falling. In fact, she is smirking.]